


the larry stylinson kumquat fic

by liliette



Series: Weirdass Fanfics [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Crack, Immigration, Kumquats - Freeform, M/M, emigrating from the uk, emigration - Freeform, immigrating to the us, stupid fic i wrote for school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-27
Updated: 2018-02-27
Packaged: 2019-03-24 21:29:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13819797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liliette/pseuds/liliette
Summary: last year, in grade 7, my social studies teacher wanted us to write a really really short story that included immigration vocabulary because we were learning about immigration or something. i can't remember lmaooo. it turns out mine was the longest one in the class and of course i decided to write about larry because why wouldn't i, and he picked up my story and read it to the entire class because i was too embarrassed to do so. everyone couldn't stop laughing and i just wanted to share it because it's so stupid and cringey and funny ?  ? ? ? HAVE FUN READING





	the larry stylinson kumquat fic

Lily’s incomprehensible stupid immigration story T2

Louis bustled around his posh English room, collecting items and photographs to pack in his bags. The room was bare now, its walls an empty shade of pale blue. He would miss his home but the only way to become an even more famous singer was to emigrate from Doncaster and immigrate to Los Angeles. He sighed, wishing he didn’t have to leave. His management was awfully stupid and forced his band, One Direction, to stay in America to make billions of dollars.  
“Lou, do we have to go?” Louis’s husband Harry asked him.  
“It’s for the better, Haz,” Louis told him sadly. “We’d be more free and more accepted in America. And our careers will take a better turn.”  
“I know,” whispered Harry sadly, picking up his favourite rotten kumquat from the floor. He had discovered the fruit on Chopped and decided to buy one and preserve it, but it rotted instead.  
Louis and Harry left the house and got onto the airplane, waiting for the 17 hour ride to be over.  
By the time the couple had gotten to LAX airport, it was already midday. The woman behind the desk shook her head at them, glaring slightly. Her name tag said that her name was Danielle. Louis already hated her. “You native?” she asked them with an irritated tone.  
“Um, no,” replied Harry.  
“Ugh,” she groaned. “You suck. Are you from One Direction? I hate that band!”  
“Well, I hate you!” Louis bit back. “Ugh, Haz, they have such a closed door immigration policy,” he sighed dramatically. “I wish they had an open door immigration policy.”  
Harry nodded in agreement. “I know, Lou. And why are you using these weird immigration terms?”  
“That’s because we’re in a story, and this weird American or Tajikistan guy named Mr. Harvey is making the writer of our story use these terms.”  
“Well, I guess we have to bear with it,” Harry shrugged.  
“Ew, you aren’t even native-born Americans,” the woman named Danielle groaned.  
“Ugh she’s such a nativist,” Louis chuckled sassily.  
After they exited the airport, Louis was super hungry.  
“Come on, let’s grab a bite,” Louis said, taking Harry’s hand and leading him towards McDonald’s. Harry’s hand absentmindedly rubbed against the kumquat he was still holding. They both smelled like a stale airplane, and the kumquat in Harry’s hand was crushed and smelt like chicken waste, but both didn’t care, because as soon as they stepped into McDonald’s, there were screams of bloody murder (the fans). The fans clawed at the two and Louis and Harry didn’t appreciate the welcome.  
The McDonald’s manager quickly kicked the fans out of the store and welcomed Louis and Harry inside. “What would you like?” he asked them.  
“I would like a burger and chips, please,” Louis said.  
“Chips? Do you mean fries?” the man asked, rolling his eyes.  
“Oh, right. Those. Frees. Frits.” Louis tried to pronounce the word “fries” but it seemed impossible to do. He sighed and turned to Harry. “We’re gonna have to assimilate to this,” he told his husband.  
Harry sighed and nodded, squeezing his kumquat for comfort.  
After they ate their greasy meals, the two headed towards their gigantic mansion to take a rest. And they gradually settled down there.


End file.
